the waiting day

The call came first thing this morning.  Dr. C. wants to see you tomorrow at 8:45.
Dial tone.

Wait.  What if I don't want to see him?
Did anyone think to ask me about what I want?
Will my wishes be taken into account?

I do not wish to see a doctor tomorrow.
I do not want to do this.
This was not on my Christmas 2012 list.

But then I go silent.
Remember?  Silence is my friend.
It is there, in my silence, my Father reminds me of truth.

This is truth...
Sickness is part of the curse.
He came to give life.
I have accepted this gift.
I have given my life back to Him.

And He wants me to see the doctor tomorrow.
Alright.
Then that's what I want too.

And so I wait.
In silence.

For tomorrow.
For the doctor.
For the plan.