the "touch" day

I thought I knew how important "touch" was to us humans. Our children are only 25 and 23 so I can still  remember the most amazing feeling coursing through my body when I would hold that baby with her head on my shoulder and his face to my neck.  As I leaned my cheek to their cheek, my skin to theirs, I was drunk on love!!  I have rarely before or since felt anything so wonderful.  Skin to skin touch.  Ahhhh.  Obviously, the touch between a husband and wife is God-blessed and amazing!!  But today I was again reminded of the importance of touch between two people.

I was alone.  Very alone.  Behind a heavy door.  Shut and locked.  Humans were on the other side of the thick paned window.  No contact.  The MRI machine was the only sound in the room.  And that sound filled the room.  I felt small.  Insignificant and yet the machines existed for me.  I needed them.

But back to the touch.  As the contrast material began to drip into my body through the IV needle, I began to lose feeling in my hands and feet.  Dizziness set in.  I started experiencing the proverbial roar in the ears before the fainting starts.  I got scared.  I squeezed the ball in my hand that sent a signal to a human somewhere out there.  I squeezed again.  And again.  She came.  She touched me.  Just my shoulder....and even that must have been hard because the machine was still on and I was still stuck in the tube...but she found a way to connect the two of us.  Her hand.  My shoulder.  And it made a difference.  Not a lot.  But enough.  I still had to complete the test.  But I could do it with some support from a hand just outside the machine. Did the touch fix everything?  No...it fixed nothing except for my aloneness.  And that was enough. It gave me the strength to carry on and finish the test.

God had skin once.  Mary probably held His baby head to her neck and enjoyed the same exhilarating feeling of her cheek to His as I did with each of my children.  I long to feel that from each of my future grandchildren.  I also long to touch my Savior.  But until then, I am very grateful for the touch of the technician this morning.  Scripture going through my head kept me focused.  Praise music in my ears kept me encouraged.  But the hand on my shoulder got me through a couple of rough minutes.  Heavy sigh.  Gratitude.