the change day

--this post was actually written a week ago...but somehow I got distracted (go figure!) and only now am finding it and getting it out there--

God hasn't changed.  And in a sense, if I have changed, it is for the better.  I am thinking that although the news of cancer is only two weeks old, indeed it  is not.  It is only that I have had a 2 week awareness of this cancer.  The only thing that has changed in the last 14 days is my thinking, my awareness of the problem.  And that is for the better.  You see, this cancer would kill me if I was unaware.  A life lived without awareness is a life headed to death.  The change in me, the better change, is that I now am in a position to accept help for my problem.  Ask me a month ago if I had anything awry physically and I would have ignorantly said no.  I would not have accepted help for a problem that was even then viciously growing in my body.  Ignorance is not bliss.  Not knowing is not helpful.  Knowledge is the first action step.

But I go back to my first statement.  God hasn't changed.  Only I have.  He knew a month ago.  He knows today.  And He knows what the next year holds.  And through it all, He will be unchangeable.  Compassionate.  Merciful.  Aware of my eternal essence.  Although things around me have changed...even my earthly body has changed...yet the eternal of me has not.  I am His and forever so!!  I find that comforting--"when all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay"...